Large And In Charge

Today was a good day. Then I made a grave mistake for one having a good day...I got on the scale to weigh myself. Oh, bad idea! Very bad idea. Worst idea I've had in a long time.

So I hop up on there not expecting in a million years that the numbers could go that high while I was standing atop the scale. I checked to see if someone had snuck on with me. Nope, just me.

Now I knew I had gained weight. I have eyes. I also have sense. I knew that when I had to lay down on the bed and bust out the vice-grips to assist me in getting my pants on, that yeah, I weigh a little more than I used to. But I must say that I believe it happened overnight. This is the story that I am clinging to. That I woke up one morning and BAM! I'm fat.

And now, looking back, I should have taken the hint from the lid of my Sobe the other day (yes it is one purchased at the Fresh Market where I got locked out of Ethel.). But I must say that I don't think that this is what should be written upon a 'Lean' Sobe lid, because last time I checked, the word lean would insinuate that it was a healthy choice. Here is a picture...


So I guess everyone else saw it coming, me being large-and-in-charge. Even my stupid 'healthy' drink...

So what to do... Weight Watchers? No, I'm not that great at math and would get frustrated adding up and calculating all of those points. Atkins? No, I'm not a huge fan of meat. Liposuction? No, it is too expensive and at my current size I couldn't afford the massive swelling that comes along with having a Hoover shoved in your belly and thighs. Maybe diet and exercise. Man, that sounds like it is going to be a lot of self-control and hard work. It makes me tired just thinking about it...

(Notice, I even enlarged the font to go along with the BIG theme. Maybe bigger is better?...)